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Fort Fun

Marion talks with her friend Steve about his first job.

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Marion: So Steve what's the worst job you've ever had?

Steve: Ah, let's see. The worst job I've ever had has to be Fort Fun in East Born.

Marion: What's Fort Fun?

Steve: Fort Fun is fun for children but it isn't fun for the spotty 16 year olds who have to work there, so some have the good fortune to operate go-carts and other things like that. I had the great fortune to work in the tearoom with an old lady called Brenda.

Marion: What was Brenda like?

Steve: Brenda was basically a witch and she had two offspring which were also going to probably a witch training school, and they'd come around and they'd gossip and, but Brenda would always notice in mid gossip whether I'd, if I'd stirred the tea one revolution too few and then she'd be on me, as it is, so I had to serve ice-creams and scalding hot tea from a spitting tea machine that wasn't working properly from two hatches. One, one looking out onto the beach, and one actually inside Fort Fun so inside Fort Fun was bearable, because, and also all of this time you have to bear in mind that I was wearing a cowboy hat and a little cowboy waistcoat with a sheriff's badge on it, and I had two holstered plastic guns which I was advised by the manager to like whip out and pretend to shoot like any young kid that came up there. Anyway, that wasn't so bad, having to suffer that indignity, you know lack of dignity, but when it came to serving from the hatch, from the sea front, where all the surfers would come and get their tea, and obviously that provided great amusement to them, and anyway, to cut a long story short, I lasted about three weeks before deciding f*ck it, I'd rather be poor for the summer, then have people going yeah, that's him as I walked out.

Marion: That's the cowboy from Fort Fun?

Steve: Yeah, that is.

Marion: Brilliant. Thanks Steven.

Steve: You're welcome.

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